I know what you’re thinking:
Oh great, another rant about Valentine’s Day. You’ve probably had enough of the hype. Of the bins of plushy red caterpillars in Walmart since January 1st. Of the ads on Facebook for chocolate. Or of your friends posting pictures of their significant other and writing mushy things that nobody wants to read. Or, the people ranting about how lovely and freeing and “ok” it is to be single.
I’ve been thinking this week about being in love. I remember the butterflies when Michael asked me out. The surprised feeling as my head spun with a thousand thoughts, trying desperately to pull one together into a response. The warm feeling that came over my body as I blushed and my heart pounded. I miss those feelings. Maybe because of the newness and the excitement of them.
After two years of marriage we have something much closer, and arguably better. But somehow sometimes I still wish for the “old days”. The thrill of a hand hold. Learning new things about him every day. Being surprised. I know that the stability and friendship we now have is greater, but sometimes I’m still convincing myself of it.
Do I miss the freedom of single years?
Definitely. Do I miss the adventure of the dating months? Absolutely. But no life season is perfect in its entirety.
If I could, would I trade butterflies and freedom for the friendship that I have now with Michael? The closeness of being known fully and being loved fully? Would I trade the giggles of my son for the full nights of sleep? Would I tell everyone who is in a single season to ‘enjoy it because life just gets harder’? Never.
I don’t miss the lonely nights I struggled to feel loved. I don’t miss the communication difficulties and unknowns of the dating times. I don’t miss having to do my own taxes (ha).
I wish that before I’d gotten married that I understood what it meant to be fully loved by God. The fact that He knows every part of my mind, body, and soul, yet still loves me is something that changes the perspective on any season of life. No matter my relationship status, I AM loved. Being married has given me a glimpse of what that means.
Elisabeth Elliot said one thing that sticks with me (well, actually many, but one relevant) and that is ‘A choice is a limitation’. When I choose to marry one man, I’m choosing not to marry any other man out there. I’m choosing to continue on with my life, whatever it may have, with this man and no other. Maybe the ‘in love’ feeling fades. But maybe that means the relationship grows closer. I’ve limited myself to this one man and look what happened: he knows me better than anyone else, he encourages me daily, and I can depend on him to do my taxes (can I get an ‘amen’?!).
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
…a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
…a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1, 5, 8 NIV)
Valentine’s Day is the day of celebrating love.
It’s really not about whether you’re single or married, “official” or just crushing. If we’re going to celebrate love, it’s got to start at where love began. Not with one human to another. Or with you loving your dog (I know that’s hard to believe). The Bible tells us outright: “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) You know what’s worth celebrating? The fact that God loves us. He loved us first. He loves us best. He loves us always. No matter what season of life we’re in.